I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
