do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
