i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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