they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
