I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
