i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
