Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
