god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
