She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize