Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
