So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
