so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize