I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I want a musical about memes.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
