just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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