I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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