i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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