I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
