Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
