erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize