Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize