i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize