Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
