He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
