What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you traded sex for a burrito?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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