She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
