There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
