Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
