i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
