how can u be prego again
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
