Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I love you.
Bad choice
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