I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
