Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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