Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
