did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
