ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
