In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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