I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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