I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
