Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
