i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
