id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
