fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
