haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
