She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
