Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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