When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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