I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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