uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
