In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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