You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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