I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
