I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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