She's JV to your varsity
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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