we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
