people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
