In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So much Jack, so little girl.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize