Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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