didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
