It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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