That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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