If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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