how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
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