Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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